2000 SPRING SEASON GAME REPORTS

GAME 1: UNDERESTIMATED LEAFS COVERED HOOTERS UP TO THE NIPPLES. 4-5

The all new Maple Leafs turned out to be the Sugarland Rec. League Outlaws, which were reinforced by a set of good players from hell knows where. Underestimated Maple Leafs scored two immediate goals and by the end of the first period had a three goal credit. 0-3. Hooters suddenly woke up in the second and after Eugene played the puck around a couple of defensemen and center passed it from behind the net, Steve had the puck on his hook and a wide open net to put it into. 1-3. Hooters increased pressure and speed up skating. Ed skate-rocketed across the ice and scored the second goal. 2-3. What a come back! But then Hooters had to realize that the game was doomed to failure as a few seconds later Leafs scored the fourth goal and moved into the third with a 4-2 lead. The sun could have shined for Hooters again after Ed scored the third goal on a pass from Rob to make it 3-4 but from the center ice face-off Leafs scored a quick goal again! 3-5 with 1:55 left to play the game. After a time-out Hooters managed to score another goal. Thanks to Ed's efforts Jeff got a pass in front of the net and scored a goal of hope. With 4-5 on the board and 27 seconds, there was not enough time to save the game. Kevin made a few really good saves but it was very unusual for him to allow 5 goals in one game, taking into account just 10 shots on goal. It was also quite unusual for Hooters to not score more goals on the cracking defense and rather weak goal tending. It was a very good hockey anyway and worth watching.

GAME 2: HOOTERS STARTED HARD, ALMOST CHOKED BUT FINALLY SWALLOWED THE BREW 5-4

Hooters almost got traumatized by a threat to lose the second game in a row. During the first two periods there was no sign of any trouble and by the end of the second period Hooters were ahead 4-1. Eugene played the puck in the offensive zone and pass to Ed who sent it to the net and opened the score early in the first. Soon Brew responded with a puck entered the net at a snail speed behind Greg's back. Kevin W. stretched his low back muscle and was watching the play from the bench. "It happens", thought Kevin - "No big deal." Then Hooters pounded Brews with three goals. Willy scored a one-timer on a pass from Jeff, Eugene got a backhander on a rebound and Danny put the puck in the net after Willy instead of taking a shot had beautifully passed the puck to him and big-time tricked the goalie. 4-1. Beer thoughts started coming up in the minds of Hooters Shooters. Too early. Brews scored THREE quick goals during the first minute of the third period and tied the game. The game could have ended with a nervous breakdown but a pain of relief came up with 5 seconds to play the game when Ed's solo cruise brought the victory. 5-4 and a good lesson - do not relax until the final whistle blows!

GAME 3: DIARRHEA OF THE HOOTERS BEAT THE ALL-TIME WORST RECORD. 3-10
Hooters started without Jeff and Willy and as usual allowed the first goal, which put cats on top of the situation. But Danny played some heavy metal in the locker room and came on the ice excited enough to push it hard. He started a combination and on the final pass from Ivan-The Desperate Kevin A. scored a goal to make it 1-1. Soon after that Kevin A. paid back and now Ivan made it 2-1. At that point the diarrhea symptoms appeared. Eugene was denied by a very well played goalie on multiple occasions, so was Ed, even when he made it one-on-one. The play was unfortunate. Eugene missed two passes in front of the net from Ed and even when he came all the way back to help Greg out, who was all alone facing three cats, the puck flipped over Eugene's stick and a cat sent it to the open net. Greg, who takes Kevin W. position in the net when Kev does not show up use to play very well, but he stated this time that something was not working. Yes, as the Hooters defence cracked, allowing cats to skate around. After the second goal which tied the game a one-cat show started. Cat #5 put 4 or 5 goals in a row. Unlike on the other end, the puck kept coming at Greg and Hooters were finishing with a score of 2 to10 with a few minutes left to play in the third. All these goals were so easy scored that some might think that Hooters was a novice team. No, it was not, but the all-time worst record was beat that night. Ivan was so desperate to impress his girl-friend and pissed off so much, that he robbed the cat and wristshot the puck in the net. 3-10. Panthers seemed to not care too much about the result with the time running out. On the other rink Oil Kings beat Outlaws 9-8, both teams to be yet played and Oil Kings are next. A rain of goals. Isn't that something to think about, eh.  

GAME 4: HOOTERS SAG TO THE FLOOR WITH THE WORST RECORD IN TEAM HISTORY WHILE LOSING STREAK CONTINUES. 1-3
In addition to a double digit loss to Panthers, Hooters have set up another all time worst records:
- (1-3-0)
- Three game losing streak
- Minus 9 GA vs. GF
The team plays well as usual, but Ms. Fortune acts like old bitch:
- Kevin W. pulled his lower back muscle and is out of the net.
- Greg plays the substitute goalie and this affects defense. Besides Paul tends to think offensively when playing defense.  
- Offense creates a bunch of scoring chances, but do not score enough goals to compensate those scored on Hooters.
Like in the past game Willy scored one goal on a rebound of Rob's shot. That was it. Otherwise, Eugene missed two excellent chances by shooting the puck wide, missed a couple of good passes. Ed, Danny and Ivan missed a few passes in front of the net, etc., etc. Unlike the opponent, who used most of their scoring changes. The puck flipped over Greg's stick in the net. The second and third goals were scored when Hooters allowed 2 on 1 and 3 on 1 situations.
Spring season of 1999 was not as good as those thereafter. Here we go again. Probably, Hooters need more protein in spring and that night we ordered more beer, wings and crawfish than usual. It may work next Wednesday. Hopefully, Hooters will not fall through the ice holes.

GAME 5: HOOTERS FELL THROUGH THE ICE HOLES IN OVERTIME. 3-4
The game started well for Hooters after Ed scored on a pass from Ivan. Soon Ice Holes tied the game, but Rob's wrister made it 2-1. By the end of the second period defensive mistakes and breakaway allowances provided lots of chances for Ice Holes to score, and it seemed like "The Grey Pant Guy But Not Gene" was everywhere. He was in fact and the game was tied at two a piece. In the third Ice Holes scored again and got on top of flattened Hooters. 3-2. A few minutes left to play and Jeff's efforts were rewarded with a goal and provided a hope to win the game in overtime. Eugene cried out from the bench: "Watch The Grey Pant Guy!", Greg goes: "Don't let him skate around us". And guess what happened. Shorthanded Ice Holes played a trick on Hooters, who went too deep in the offensive and The Grey Pant Guy But Not Gene sneaked behind the back of Hooters defense and got a pass to break away. It looked like a penalty shot that allowed Ice Holes to win the game. As Hooters had dropped down to the bottom line in standings, there was nowhere to go but fall through the ice holes into the underground. Another worst team record was set - 3 games losing streak. Hooters started moving backwards like crawfish and that's what team had with beer that night. Danny was not allowed to play heavy metal CD's in the locker room anymore. The team could only blame it on this kind of music, otherwise it was hard to explain the misfortune.  

GAME 6: PAULIE TALKED OUT LOUD TO SHUT UP CACKLING BLACK HAWKS IN OVERTIME. 3-2
Tension was in the air of the Hooters locker room. Even Danny was not talking. Most of the games Hooters played against Black Hawks were physical, unpredictable and tough to win. Last season Black Hawks kicked Hooters out of the play-offs in the quarter final game and then won the championship. Stuck on the bottom line Hooters had nothing to lose and got tuned for the winning game,  which turned out to be both tough and rough again! When paying Black Hawks Hooters are always the first to score. And that happened again. Skipper flew across the ice with the puck and opened the score 1-0. But it has become the Hooter's "tradition" to immediately allow a goal in their own net. Bang! 1-1. Soon after that the puck was deflected to enter the Hooters' net in a tiny gap between Gregs shinpad and the post and made it 1-2. It triggered offensive by both opponents and the penalty box was engaged throughout the second and third period. In the third period Hawks scored three goals that were disallowed for crease rule violations. Lots of team efforts and shots by defense and offense seemed to not work for Hooters again and the time was running out making Hooters nervous. And then came a penalty shot performed by #29, the best Hawk, whom Eugene chased and put down on the ice right before #29 was able to make a shot. But Greg played very well and the Hawks missed the net. Still 1-2. By this time the long tail Hawk was suspended for two games and they were close to forfeit the game once another guy was set to be kicked out. Hooters realized that the Hawks were losing their temper and increased pressure. During one of such offensives Eugene took a shot from his position, the puck was deflected by goalie to Danny, he took the shot but the puck stuck underneath the goalie's skate. Eugene dived checked from behind but managed to tip the puck and it snailed in the net. 2-2 and there was the overtime. In this season Hooters offense is not as productive as before and defense moved forward to help the team out this time. It was Skipper who started the offensive. A few passes back and forth and Skip was in the position to shoot with the goalie confronting him, but Skip, what an unselfishness, softly passed to Paulie,  who had a wide open net in front of him and Paulie did talked out loud to score the game winning goal and piss off the black birdies. It is good to beat Black Hawks, but it is more ahead for Hooters who have to move up to at least 8th position in the standings.

GAME 7: HOOTERS PUT THEIR CORSETS ON NORTH STARS AND GOT LOSE.Click HERE for details
Danny brought his CD player in case Hooters needed to blame something for another loss. Miss Fortune was not friendly to Hooters, who played their butts off to win the game. Unselfish Willy played the puck early in the first and repeated the Skip's trick on goalie by passing the puck to Ivan and he opened the score. 1-0. That was it in the first period, although Hooters basically controlled the ice. Stars moved Rob - The NYR from defense to offense and he tied the game in the second by a tricky wrist shot. 1-1. Here it went again, lots of efforts, not enough goals. Skipper corrected the problem by picking up the puck at his team's net, bringing it across the ice and making it 2-1. He could have scored another one exactly like this but was surprisingly easily denied by the Star's goalie. Bad luck. With the score of 2 to 1 teams started the third period. Eight minutes left to play the game and Stars took the time-out. Hooters needed another goal to secure the score and it was Kevin A. who moved like a tractor through the terrain and plug in the puck. 3-1. The way everything worked for Stars was Scott Leslie and Rob Vrabel making the play and Hooters decided to watch them closely. But what happened was totally crazy. Being short-handed Stars made a play to set up Rob - The NYR and he broke away to score another goal. 3-2, 2 minutes to play and Stars were still short-handed. Ed brought the puck in the right corner and cross-passed it to Ivan who was confronting the goalie and got a clear shot to score the game winning goal. 4-2. Next week the team will welcome Yankees with a topless hockey. Americans like to bounce Hooters when they don't bump. But they will!  

GAME 8: HOOTERS' SPRING ICE HOLE FUNGUS EPIDEMIC. 1-4
Unprecedented pre-game event. Willy found live frog in his skate. That was funny. Typically, laughter is followed by tears. Tears followed. When Greg shot the puck from Hooters' defensive zone and it went above the heads of every single player and landed in the net pass Americans' goalie. Although Hooters scored a goal the reporter thought: "Something's gonna happen". It did. No more goals in the first period. In the second Steve gave the puck to the opponent and Americans tied the game. In a few minutes Paulie made the same mistake in front of the net and Americans took the lead. Hooters offensive did not work out and the scoring chances were minimal. Players were not connected well enough as two centers Ivan and Jeff were missing and Hooters started playing individually. It did not work either. What sucked next was the situation where the opponent skated all the way pass all Hooters, behind the net and wrapped the puck around. 1-3 and less than 2 minutes to play. Each time Hooters put their best players to try to tie the game or score a goal in a matter of seconds, it turns out the other way. This game was not the exclusion. And Hooters' three best offense-men and three best defense-men allowed the open-netter. 1-4. The team is hardly recognizable compared to the previous season.  What a mess!

GAME 9: ERRATIC EROSION OF HOOTERS CONTINUES. 1-8
0-2 after the first period, 0-4 after the second and a final score of 1 to 8 was depressing enough for Hooters who would unlikely  make it to the play-offs. Lots of efforts, mostly individual, but bad luck in offense and defense, lack of pASSing and communication. Skipper got mad about the situation in the third period and exploded with the only unASSisted goal of the entire game. 

GAME 10: DEAD WINGS TIED DEAD HOOTERS 2-2.
The clock was down all night and Steve TruesDELL - The Iceref twisted up his brain by having to run the virtual clock in his mind. Hooters made a promising start when in the first period Eugene made a pass to Ivan who then broke away and sneaked the puck in the net. 1-0. Thereafter Hooters dominated but could not score until Kevin A. got pissed off and with persistance of a rocker bulldosed the puck across the ice and made it 2-0. Winged Hooters rushed in offense to secure their lead in the win-or-die game of the season. The Deads made Hooters dead-winged when Pat (DW) passed from the corner of his defensive zone right on the stick of Hong-Wong-or-Dong who parked himself at the red line. In a second he skated around Ed and brought the hope back to the Deads. 2-1. Later in the third, Jeff retaliated with tripping the Dead offender and Truez blew his fargin whistle. Four (4) shorthanded Hooters could not see well 2 (two) Dead people and the haunted puck rolled around Greg's shinpads, elbow pads, sholder pads, around the neck, down to the pants and in the net. The rage of Hooters in a Dead Clock Overtime left them maybe the last chance to make the play-offs by coming out hard on Maple Leafs. Unlikely standings will be made available before the next game and Ms. Hope may motivate Hooters well enough to skate their butts off to beat the opponent, whom they played first in this season and lost 4-5 after strong come back in the third. We'll see how things develop. 

GAME 11: HOOTERS SHREDDED MAPLE LEAFS 4-1.
Last season Hooters tied the game with Ice Holes allowing Dead Wings to get the playoff spot. This season Dead Wings did not return the favor and lost in Overtime to Outlaws - one of the main competitors of Hooters for the playoff spot. Hooters needed to win and create another, although weak, chance to get to the playoffs. The shocking goal was scored on Hooters during the first few seconds when Leaf-77 skated in the zone and slap-shot the puck in the net. Hooters came out strong thereafter and dominated throughout the entire game, leaving Maple Leafs no chance to turn the game around in their favor. Skipper got a puck from Scott (Hooters' new goalie), skated across the ice around every freakin' body and tied the game. Then Ed repeated the trick. 2-1. The opponent's goalie was steaming during the endless shots on goal coming from Hooters. During one of the combinations Ed passed the puck to Jeff and he put it in the net. 3-1. The play was becoming provocative as Leafs attempted to move the puck to Hooters' defensive zone. Penalties were called on Jeff and then Ivan late in the third. The penalty killing brigade was on the ice, when Leafs fall though allowing Jeff to break away and score the shorthanded goal. 4-1. With 9 points and the season record of 4-6-1, Hooters will have to wait for the results of the Oil Kings - Ice Holes and Panthers-Black Hawks games, which will answer the question 'Did Hooters make the playoffs'.